


you were lost (but someone will find you)

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25749070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: TROS rewrite, where it's not Han who visits his son after Rey saves his life
Kudos: 3





	you were lost (but someone will find you)

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post on instagram about this and I became obsessed with it because the possibilities, the parallels, the healing that could take place. Honestly this doesn't capture all of that but I tried my best. Anakin Skywalker should've appeared in person (or force ghost yk) in this movie this is the hill I choose to die on.

He feels it like a breeze. It sends a prickle down his spine and shakes him out of his thoughts and back into the present. When he was younger, they used to appear to him in dreams. He didn’t know it at the time, but they were some of the greatest Jedi the galaxy had ever known, Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Anakin Skywalker. However, seeing as his mother didn’t talk about her biological father he didn’t know who it was all he saw was a boy who seemed a lot like him. An outsider, with an anger inside of him that couldn’t be controlled, and a hunger to love and be loved in return. 

The boy looked older, now as he stood on the wreckage of the death star, which is ironic when you consider his true identity: Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader. As his grandfather stands before him, Ben Solo feels more lost than he’s ever been. He doesn’t know who he is, now that he’s renounced the dark side, and Rey has saved his life. Again, he finds himself wishing that his life were different. When he was a teenager, and he fully understood what being a Skywalker meant, the stares, the talking, the legacy, the power, he wished he wasn’t one. He would always wish that he had been born to a normal family, lived on a farm of some sort, and had both of his parents with him. 

Maybe then, he’d thought, as another bout of feverish emotion threatened to consume him, I wouldn’t be as angry as I am now. 

And then if that wasn’t enough, soon the entire galaxy would only see him as the grandson of Darth Vader. He knew then that he would never be able to face that, never be able to atone for that, make up for it in some way. He’d often wondered why his mother worked as hard as she did, gave so much of herself away, and in his own twisted mind he’d decided that must’ve been why. She must have been trying to make up for it, working herself away until someone finally forgave her, and how could he ever live up to that? 

He chose a different path. The wrong one, which is so clear to him now but everything was blurry then. Things crashed down one after another, there was no one catalyst, and he decided that there was one legacy that he would be able to live up to. He could do what his mother and his uncle couldn't; he could finish what Vader started, that legacy could be his alone. No excuses could be made for that, no amount of acceptance needed or attention not given. He chose that. 

“You’re unsure,” Anakin says, his body covered in a light blue glow. 

“I created this, and she let me live.” He responds, “I have nothing, I am nothing.” 

“You’re lost then,” He says. 

“I’ve always been lost,” Ben shakes his head, thinking of what it is he’s meant to do. 

“We were both lost,” Anakin puts his hand on the other man's shoulder, “But the force always manages to find us when we need to be guided.” 

He knows now, what he needs to do. It’s clearer to him than anything else has been in his life, his purpose, a way to make up for everything that he’s done, a way to be whole again. “I know what I have to do,” He says, “But I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” 

“Then this time we’ll do it together.”


End file.
